ventura, 2007

r

i remember her in that yellow shirt
corduroy shorts
left leg kite
marker drawn
and no hair
my friend,
megan.

they are fighting now
in la mirada

lily, lolita, lo
queens of california
out there in long brown
locks, in all their
girl next doorness
i dreamt of haunted houses
and everyone getting married
and rosie thomas
in a purple dress

not enough money
what they say
this sunshine state’s
a black hole
it’s true
mcsweeney’s, vol 20
in steve’s bedroom
tired- they say
not enough iron

streetwise, tiny
her mouth upside down
warner kids
cars of ventura
behind the wildcat house
half pipe, they’re
skating in the backyard
driving, the three of us
in a grey pick up

tonight, spudnuts
maple
parking lot
red cardigan
broken car and we’re walking
without sky only
clouds

clean getaway
dark blue sparrow day
to escondido and back
the first real rain
since coming home
the absence of god
we – are starting fires
by accident
dipping our toes in
to feel warm
i’m here
again slouching
sewing autumn leaves
back
to their branches

cat tails
the ones that grow
near birches, in pieces
skin and lace
cold feet
and wild hearts
can’t be broken

riding in cars with boys
and big hands
scared of that place
in their heads, girls
with pink hair
and skinny legs
that hungry place they all go
even the quiet ones
who listen to soft music
and read philosphy

night fog
scratches down my arms
patterns from opening
paper bags over
and over
“falawar”
a flower
from yap island

california’s on fire
and winds named ana
black and yellow
the dark afternoons
those palms in pasadena
tall and crooked
leaning right, every single
one

i was counting crows
near the coldwater canyon
exit, north
on the 101
thinking of oregon
the sea and its rhythm
soft and late
i count down the streets
moon, telephone, hill
i count down from skeel
coe, lantana, ponderosa
carmen

moving boxes
isaac and his keyboard
falalfel dinners
pez candy

in my trunk- loose
confetti, a road atlas
a patterned
sleeping bag

coming back, 2007

flying over new mexico
above the second sea level
clouds,
soft cursive
fleece rising
up out of
mauve
and lumps
a second sea
level, a blur
of foam
and one line-
crayon
for a moment

the city at night
little my city bright
and i am coming
down in

a letter to owatonna,
the monsoons are here
dust floating
around

dreams in the middle
he was scratching her back
and her arms the sound
too loud
and my brown dress
too short
my bones not showing
enough in my knees

i didn’t expect people to keep me
while i was out there
yawning on trains.
i remember daniel.
splinters.
we are growing a vegetable garden
and reading milan kundera.
vertigo
being buried,

kirsten says
“i don’t want to hold something
that when you hold it
it dies”

dreams he is
kissing my knee

livorno, april 2007

i am in italy now,
kieran’s apartment
bialetti
answering phones
“pronto”
i am ready.

the novelty
of kettle
and markets
clotheslines,

pocketed
aprons
mountain
tunnels

tender,
i am thinking about things
that will never come back.

traveller
pines,

like sleeping
in a big bed
until a ridiculous
afternoon time
then strawberries
and toast
drink tea
in my pajamas

this is what i want.
the bliss
of walls
of personal
space.

white grass
spread florally
island,
fortress
warm april
a dress
with lace

siesta
the laze
of it, grown
up napping

sun sea,
mediterranean
sometimes i think of peter
and i do not know why.

tübingen, 2007

tubingenbig

fionabig

fiona,
with allan poe, and
typewriter

sometimes days
are just colours, and
two people

meeting there, crossing
street hills cobbling
downwards, swinging
chair outside
together and talking of letters,
haikus,
cooking upstairs –
attic kitchen.
to the bakery
for rolls, practicing
practicing my numbers eins
zwei

fiona wears black and speaks excellent french.
i can’t help it, fiona
that i do not have any lovers.

los angeles, 2007

rachelkirsmetro

melancholy play
hollywood
metro, sierra villa
park and ride
lolita

lucerne, april

castleyellowflowersbig

i have asked spring
please, to keep
me take
me with her
when leaving
wherever it is 
she goes.